I can’t stress how important it is when you’re in a relationship to take an interest in one another’s interests. When the two of you first met, of course, to make a good impression, you participated in things you might otherwise not have just to be near that person, to spend time with them, and to show that you are the type of person that they’d be able to also spend time with. No use in lying, we’ve literally all been there. I remember one of Lindsay and my first dates when she asked me to meet her at a pool hall–to say I was the least bit amused would be accurate considering I absolutely never will understand the point of hitting balls into pockets and quite frankly, I’m terrible at it, but you know I went to the pool hall just to see her–and for weeks after, practiced pool, knowing it was something she took an interest in and when we moved into our first rental together, I arranged for us to have a pool table, since it’s something she loves.
Even after four years, we are always still learning different interests of one another and are constantly adapting to one another’s interests as well. We go to the gym frequently and I remember on one of our first visits as a couple, Lindsay asked if I wanted to shoot some hoops, mind you, Lindsay was recruited for basketball among some of the top colleges so she’s a beast and I happen to be a runner so my basketball skills are certainly less than stellar, although I did play on the Elks basketball team growing up. Regardless of how embarrassed I’d be, I walked into the court and grabbed a ball and we played for an hour and a half amongst my many, many missed shots and constantly asking for reminders and tips on how to do a layup. We have played many one-on-one games since and although I can’t say I’ve really improved, we’ve laughed a lot and Lindsay’s ego has gotten a huge boost. 😉
In taking an interest, it’s expected to be reciprocated and I have taken Lindsay to many yoga classes although she’s constantly saying that she can barely scratch her back. She’s done pretty awesome in classes as well over time and even though she’s felt sore and has asked how in the hell I can bend my body in seemingly unnatural ways, she’s gone to the classes because I love yoga and because I wanted to share that with her. She even helped me pick out a new yoga mat and bought me yoga socks so my feet won’t slip.
Lindsay has also sent me links upon links upon links to registrations to races and has also woken up many mornings way before the sun has come up, lacing her sneakers getting ready to hit the pavement. She’s a sprinter normally but has adapted to the long-distance running because it’s been my dream to run a marathon and she believes in me but doesn’t want me to feel as though I have to do it alone. She bought me new running sneakers without me mentioning that I needed them and picked out Saucony’s after doing research knowing how much I love a good running shoe, not to mention they are neon pink and yellow, which is just kickass.
There are many ways to take an interest in one another’s interests without it being held to strictly fitness but in a capacity of showing that you listen when your significant other is talking and that you value what it is that they’re saying. I remember–although this one is again fitness related–that Lindsay had mentioned years ago that she loves rock climbing and for her birthday, I found a rock climbing gym five minutes away from us and got each of us day passes, saying that she can refresh my memory on it. Lindsay also used to play the guitar pretty frequently and is also an artist — I’m not musically inclined, can barely play a recorder, and am in no way an artist since I can only color, but I asked questions, discovered what kind of guitar she used to play and what type of canvas she’d need and found a guitar and canvas as gifts for her.
Lindsay knows how much I love getting my hair done in the salon, so she researched, found the best one in South Windsor, and bought me a gift card for my birthday to get a cut and color, demonstrating that she listened when I was talking. She also heard me saying how I wish I had a camera to take photos instead of our cell phones, and within a week, I found myself opening a box to a Canon, which took her an hour to pick out after consulting with a few Best Buy employees. Lindsay also planned a couple times for us to stay in New York City although she’s never been, knowing I love the city and has learned how to juice, knowing that I love that as well.
Taking an interest in one another’s interests becomes a bonding experience for the two of us and it allows us to see that every day, we are learning from one another. It also demonstrates how much we care about one another and the dedication we have to each other.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture to show that you care about one another, after all, it’s all the little things that count.
How have you taken an interest in your significant other’s interests?