And I agree to a certain extent. If there’s anything I really can’t stand it’s being categorized by people who have zero say in who I am or how I choose to identify. When Rachel and I first started The Futch Life, we ran into quite a bit of resistance regarding the use of labels. Many claimed that we were just adhering to the very same thing we were standing up against. I can appreciate that but my argument is that when you CHOOSE to call yourself a, b, c, or d. all of the above, you are taking a stance of empowerment not of compliance.
Most onlookers refer to Rachel and I as your stereotypical lesbian couple. Femme, butch…poster children for the gender confused and a pretty girl who just hasn’t found the right guy yet. We don’t mind the stares or the mumbles of disapproval but little do they know that I am probably the softest “butch” they’ll ever encounter and Rachel is usually the one tending to DIY projects around the house while I make dinner or sob over a Lifetime movie. Okay, just kidding on the last one…I swear. (ugh no I’m not). Sure I might have the “brutier” mannerisms and Rachel loves a good dress but I have no desire to identify as a man or pretend to be one of the boys. We are who we are and while my look is a tad gender fuddled, my identity is not defined by societal standards or first impressions.
Futch = feminine butch. I think that could probably apply to both of us but it isn’t at all who we are. It’s more of a style reference than anything else and a quick way to describe our tastes, our wardrobes, and the wiggle room we allow ourselves when it comes to tendencies. We have always prided ourselves on blurring the lines, shifting the paradigm, and causing a few lingering stares.
Our fashion and physical appearance is how we choose to make a first impression on the world and that’s something we completely have control over. There is a real difference between owning labels and being pigeon holed by a society that needs categories in order to feel comfortable. At the end of the day the only thing that matters, is that you are comfortable with who you are and the life you’re living. There is no label except the one you create for yourself, so go out there, head held high knowing who YOU are and express that to the world.